“Are you strong enough to be yourself…” ~Enrique Iglesias
I love what I do! I love the way I think. I (now) love that for years people looked at me funny because I thought differently. If I didn’t think differently, I wouldn’t be able to look at someone’s physical body and see how their emotional and spiritual bodies are creating their current physical status. I wouldn’t have just been able to give a multi-dimensional reading to someone in a hospital.
For years I wondered why I didn’t fit in. I remember being in 4th grade on the playground and wondering why the girls would bicker every day. They were so mean to each other– and they were friends! My twin sister would have a different best friend every day! I remember thinking, how do they do that?
For much of my childhood, I observed. I was trying to understand behavior. I observed partly because I couldn’t outshine my twin sister (she was very loud and boisterous), partly because I was nearly invisible in my family (I remember occasionally raising my hand at the dinner table in an attempt to be heard), but mostly because I was extremely curious about human behavior. I needed to understand. I thought, if I understand them, maybe I’ll understand myself16-year-old. It wasn’t until my junior year of high school that I really began to understand myself.
That year I suffered a bilateral fracture of my L-5 (lower back) and a pinched disk above it from playing soccer. OUCH! It took the doctors 2 months to properly diagnose me. It was only in my persistence (from intuitive guidance) and my Mom listening to me (thanks Mom!), that I was able to get a proper diagnosis.
Upon my diagnosis, the doctor told me I probably wouldn’t heal. He informed my 16 year old ears, that I would “never be able to play sports again,” and never have a “sit-down job” or “stand-up job.” I left his office in pieces. I was offered surgery that would permanently alter my spine or I could “rough” it and see how my body would heal. I decided to rough it– knowing what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger. I would spend the next 9 months on bed rest, with a body brace, and a bone stimulator–and not go to the junior prom.
This may sound crazy, but I’m really glad that happened. Removing me from school offered me the opportunity to learn without feeling self-conscious about the way I was thinking. I was able to devote 100% of my attention to my studies and I found that I loved school! I had to teach myself a lot of the material in order to keep up– and I loved that! That’s when I decided I wanted to be a teacher and also realized, the “dumb blonde” stereotype that plagued me, was holding me back from my potential! I started to appreciate my differences rather than hiding them.
I also realized the importance of visualization, patience, and hope that year. When I left the swanky N.Y.C. doctor’s office I refused to believe his prediction for the rest of my life. I adamantly decided to ignore his “expertise.” I spent many nights dreaming about playing soccer and visualizing myself healing. When I showed up for my last doctor's visit– my doctor was stunned. He informed me the radiologist had just called his office to speak to him directly because she couldn’t believe I was the same girl who had broken her back. My doc informed me I had managed to heal my back and make it stronger than it was before. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before I was back on the field where I’ve been playing for the last 12 years.
I think Dr. Seuss sums it up best, “Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind.”